When my friend, Sara, texted me back in November 2011, "I'm a blogger!" I remembered that I had also started a blog... in 2009. Two blog posts and three years later...
I have successfully written almost nothing.
But - I did write this in response to my good friend's first blog entry:
I've always been a firm believer of making people's dreams come true. So today, I give Sara one of her blog dreams: A response to her first blog. I, like Sara, am a long-time procrastinator. Hence, the 2 1/2 year (now almost 3) hiatus since my last blog entry. If that's what you can even call it. I think I had written another one at some point and finally decided it was so meaningless even I didn't want to read it again and deleted it.
Also like Sara, I have a huge list of ways to avoid doing almost anything and maybe that will eventually be what I will blog about. For example - while working my BA and MA, I would clean house to avoid writing, homework, or anything required to accomplish said degrees. I've come a long way -
I am so much better at avoiding writing AND cleaning.
Which really leaves me left with stalking.
I stole the bagel and sold it on eBay for a buck.
So there! I've finally published my official response to Sara's blog: Snort Words Like a Junkie.
Now that the words are out there... or will be any moment (unless I chicken out and delete the whole thing before anyone sees a word) ... I have an announcement to make.
(Can you hear all of the excuses rattling through my brain to keep me from writing the very thing I intended to write tonight?)
Today is March 14, 2012 and I'm going to write a blog entry every day for the next (day? week? month?) year. (Oh god - a Year?)
Yes. Every single day for 365 days.
There it is. It's out there. I said it. Well, I wrote it. I have barely put it out there and already I'm ready to yank it back. I can think of a million reasons why this will never work. I feel a little shaky, light headed, and my palms are sweating.
The doubt that fills many writers keeps me trapped in concrete, unable to break out and do the only thing I really ever wanted to do. Writing for me has been a dream, but it's more than that - better and worse.
When I'm not writing - physically putting words to a blank page - my brain constantly writes and re-writes stories. The words haunt me, taunt me, and literally drive me nuts. It's less about me choosing to be a writer than about words forcing themselves through my soul. Without escape, they twist and thrash in my head.
Even though words stalk me to a point of exhaustion, adrenaline is racing through my body as I reach up to push that little orange "Publish" button.
Am I setting myself up for failure? How can I do 365 days in a row when I haven't written two days in a row in over a year?
I can't even bring myself to write all of the ugly things I tell myself - all of the screaming voices telling me this is such a bad idea...
I don't expect it to be easy - I'm sure it will be ugly at times. And, let's face it, there's a good chance no one will read this but me anyway.
But I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. (Can you hear the high-pitched-squeaky-panic?)
So, there it is. Day One of a 365 Day Journey in Writing.
I'm so proud of you!! I believe you can do it, and I will read it every day! As you can see, I've let my blog die on the procrastination vine after one entry. In fact, I had forgotten about it pretty quickly after I created it. However, you are inspiring me to work on it some more, or at least to make myself write every single day. I know how we both struggle with it and find a million reasons to not to what we want to do. Of the hundreds of stories I have had in my head over the past year, I've only managed to get 8 or 9 of them out. If I wrote something every day, it would certainly go a lot quicker! ;) I will be looking for the Day 2 entry next!!
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